There’s an unknown quote that I came across recently that says,
It doesn’t seem like that should be a Big Lightbulb Moment that takes years to figure out or master. It seems obvious that you would want friends who believe in you, defend you and think that you deserve the world but do you want ONLY that ALL of the time? Nix the relationships that only believe in you part of the time, only defend you sometimes and think you deserve most but maybe not all of the world?
What I have found is that this need for fierce lady friendships becomes even stronger when you become a mom. I have drastically reduced my “friends” list over the last few years and only want people in my life that want to be here.
That are here for the long haul.
That understands sometimes it will be weeks or maybe even months between talking but don’t allow that to diminish our friendship and our bond. Because that’s friendship as a mom, right? You don’t have time for the same things that you had time for before and you simply just don’t have the same amount left of yourself to give away.
I have no time for drama or bad-mouthing or pettiness. In reality, nobody has time for those things, nobody wants those things in their friendships but I choose not to allow there to be time for it. It’s a conscious decision to eliminate that kind of chaos from your life and it can sometimes take a conscious effort to maintain that decision.
My friendships have been either years in the making, are very new or they may fall somewhere in between. We may know a lot or a little about each other’s families, but that doesn’t devalue the bond or appreciation I have for each of them. Each friendship holds its own weight and its own value in my life. My family will always come first and my friends not only understand that, but feel the same about their own families. It’s a common ground for us and means that we always understand where the other stands.
Long gone is the party, the staying up all night and wasting the days away. Now we have playdates and maybe even the occasional moms’ night out. We don’t wake up hungover and stumble together to the Keurig but we meet at McDonald’s for a morning cup of coffee and pray that the playset will keep our kids busy just long enough for us to catch up. We don’t take turns coming out of the dressing room asking if it makes our butt look good or our eyes pop but we ask if our boobs look saggy and if it camouflages our mommy tummy.
I am so appreciative of my friends.
I love and support everything they do because they deserve to achieve all of their dreams. They deserve to achieve every single one of them. In return, they give the same love and support to me. Some days I’m doing more giving and some days they have to pull the weight when I have no more left to give but we get it, we understand.
I am beyond grateful for all of the amazing women I get to call a true friend, a fierce lady friend. You can know that if you are my friend I will support you endlessly and fully, always.
Who are your mom besties?